Fat bottomed girls

I could never fall in love with a woman who had a fat bum.

It's not that I consider it a fatal flaw in a gal - some of my best female friends and relatives have huge arses - it's just that I'm not attracted to chicks with big patooties.

But here's the thing - by admitting this in print - I've guaranteed myself a minimum of twenty mocking emails, three angry phone-calls from the aforementioned female friends and at least one face-to-face smack-down with a fat chick.

Yet, if a female columnist or blogger wrote that she couldn't fall in love with a short guy or a bald man, well, that's a giggle, that's completely understandable, that's 90 per cent of episodes of Sex and The City ...

As I've written in previous posts, if there's a substance on this planet that's more talked about than property prices, more controversial than embryonic stem cell research and more explosive than a sweating block of Semtex, it has to be female fat.

You can't escape its reach in everyday life; our foods are processed and marketed to reduce it, movies are scripted and promoted to generate fear of it, clothes and undergarments are manufactured to hide it (or produce loathing for it), and billion-dollar diet and cosmetic surgery industries flourish to get rid of it.

And while it is women who do most of the worrying about their fat - its distribution, density and the possibility of it appearing after marriage are also oft-discussed topics among men.

Millions of guys, rightly or wrongly, daily dismiss or accept partners based on their body fat.
Men are obsessed with bodies and, thanks to the influences of pornography, beer adverts and high fashion, there's more than enough fodder to convince us that if a woman is not sporting a tight rig, she's somehow less desirable.

I'm as big a victim of this syndrome as anyone and admit that all of my serious relationships have been with women who made me sigh pleasantly when they disrobed.

This is because undressing a woman is like unwrapping a Christmas present from your Grandma. If you don't like what you get, you just have to smile and pretend to be excited for the next two hours (or twenty years).

The thing is, our fixation on hardbodies is completely socialised - many of you could no doubt cite other eras that prize a Rubenesque figure in womankind, while Hispanic and black cultures hold the big booty as the archetype of femineity.

This merely serves to prove how powerful a lifetime of media imagery can be.

I wasn't born with a preference for women with small bums and flat stomachs, it is not a default setting hard-wired into my circuit board, rather it's been soldered there year after year thanks to swimsuit calendars, Bond movies and surf magazines.

When you're a young bloke down the beach or at the pool with your mates, chicks are callously rejected because they "have a fat arse" and dudes whose girls are tidy are lauded as legends because they have attracted said glamour.

This is why women worldwide flagellate themselves with diets and eating disorders in order to fit a body aesthetic encouraged by the media and fashion designers, yet if men display impressionability to the same influences we're considered arseholes, stupid or superficial.

They are actually two sides of the same coin and while males are not 'victims' of the same calibre as body-obsessed women, men and boys are certainly affected by the fear and loathing of fat - which is probably why you didn't see white rock stars or George Clooney squiring tubby chicks to the Oscars last night.

Women, however, are ones who buy the magazines, clothes and potions that drive this 'ideal'; men like me, who are attracted to it, are merely the by-product.

You could speculate that men covet women with athletic bodies because they subconsciously feel they will produce healthy, desirable offspring with these females but there is nothing unhealthy about cellulite; even 20-year-old swimsuit models have it.

The fact is many men will overlook a woman's mental instability, absence of a sense of humour, absence of intelligence, even absence of teeth - if she has an incredible figure, which shows just how powerfully suckers like me have been conditioned.

So sure, call us superficial arseholes for expressing a preference for little bums, dash off an abusive email if you must, but really, we've been manipulated just as surely as the woman who spends her lunch hour on the Stairmaster or her savings paying for liposuction.

A man's guide to buying lingerie

Three couples, six different styles of lingerie. (P-D)

WRITTEN BY DEBRA D. BASS

PD FASHION EDITOR

02/06/2009

When it comes to lingerie, men tend to be more enthusiastic in their appreciation than women. But women do not deny the inherent appeal.

After an informal survey of both genders, the results are fairly straightforward. Men and women like lingerie because it's sexy.

Men wanted to see it more often and women joked that they "should" wear it more. One problem it seems is that lingerie has got such a mystique that most women consider it special occasion apparel.

So it's no surprise that one perception remained very consistent among couples. Women almost universally expected their husband, boyfriend or significant other to pick out lingerie that was racier, raunchier and more revealing than what they would choose.

We decided to test out the theory with three local couples at various stages of their relationship. We have a married couple with adult children, a young couple planning a wedding in April and a newly formed duo that's been dating for two months.

We selected three websites selling a variety of lingerie from innocent and casual to hot and sexy. The men and women were told to go to the websites separately. He was told to pick out something he thought the woman would look sexy wearing. She was told to pick something that she would feel sexy wearing.

In general, the guys picked items that showed more skin, but none of them picked elaborate looks with hooks and garters, corsets and ruffles. The women tended to prefer things with more girlish elements of lace or embroidery. And our ladies all went for classic black. It was the guys who chose color and prints.

Seven simple rules

1 Know her size. Check out the size numbers in the garments that she wears most often. Women tend to hang on to various sizes over the years, so don't pick out the size in something you haven't seen her wearing in a while. Take note of panty and bra sizes, and a skilled salesperson can help you figure out the size for most anything else that catches your eye.
2 If she doesn't own any lingerie, don't expect her to go all out with something wild and racy. Lingerie can make a person feel quite self-conscious, so take that into account.
3 Don't be cheap. You'll be surprised at how much some ladies underwear can cost. If you don't have the budget, don't skimp. If you've only got $20, you might want to stick with a sexy pair of panties.
4 Don't be limited to the exotic. A great silk slip or bra set can be worn under clothing all day or for a nice night out for dinner. That'll give you something to fantasize about for a while instead of something she only wears from the bathroom to the bed.
5 Wrap it up. Most women (at least those who aren't the uber-practical type) love unwrapping petite boxes with ribbon.
6 Don't be offended if she only wears it once, or only on special occasions. Ask her about it once in a while. Does she like it? What does she prefer? Would she wear it more if you didn't rip it off so quickly?
7 Don't let this advice inhibit you. If you really think something is pretty and sexy, give it a shot. And while you're at it, think of wearing something special for the occasion yourself. It might break the ice.



Married

Jim Moore, 59, and Marianne, 45, Belleville. Married seven years and together for 10 years, (they have a Brady Bunch clan of five adult children)





Marianne said that she wears lingerie almost every day, whether it's a pretty bra or a lacy camisole that she wears to bed with pajama bottoms. She like pretty things. And to that end, she selected a lacy bra and panty set from Badgley Mischka. The Lana bra ($85) and tap pants ($42) in black with an ivory accent "leaves something to the imagination," she said. And "it looks comfortable, which for me is key to feeling sexy. I don't want to have to worry about things riding up or not fitting properly."

She suspected that her husband had selected something racy and elaborate with garters and corsets and snaps, but he quickly exclaimed, "Oh, no, that stuff is dangerous."


His choice was a D and G Intimates Leopard Print Bra, (now on sale for $34.90), and matching panties (now on sale for $21.90). He said that the choice seemed, "sexy and wild looking."







Engaged

Damon Johnson, 27, and Adhar Usher, 26, St. Louis. They are planning their wedding in April.




She preferred a black Intimissimi satin and with lace teddy ($48). It's a classic cute but sexy look that has a bit of innocence and a hint of nostalgia.
He preferred a two-piece midriff baring bra ($48) and side-tie bikini ($18) set in pink satin with bows. It's a more contemporary look that is subtly opposite. It's sexy but cute.



Damon said that it "reflected Adhar's personality (and of course, my own personal preference in lingerie). It's sexy without being too dramatic, fun but seductive." He said that he's not a fan of garters and bustiers, because "complicated lingerie can be intimidating and even distracting. Keep it simple."


Both of them admitted the they didn't think the other would have selected the same thing they chose. But on a funny note, each of them seemed to think that they had chosen a racier garment than the other.




Dating

Anthony Robinson, 41, Central West End, and Kyla Grunwald, 23, Maplewood. They have been dating for two months.





Kyla chose a sheer babydoll nightie with floral embroidery, bow accents and a plunging neckline called the Aubade's Caprice Combinette in black ($189), which she would pair with the matching bottoms, a string thong ($49). Then she noted that she'd wear it with stockings.



Anthony selected the Boudoir's Leavers Lace with Silk Contour Underwire Bra ($130) and matching silk thong ($55) in deep blue lace over pink silk. He said that he chose the lingerie because of the design, material and color.


"I thought that all of those qualities would enhance Kyla's figure and skin tone," Anthony said. "I think her choice was nice, but I was looking for something other than black or red as that seems to be the standard."
She said that she liked her choice because it just looked sexy and provocative, but not totally revealing.

Hollywood Nights: PETA Ad Banned (Video) Janet Jackson is Out in Japan

By Tina Johnson

The "economic crisis" has stopped Janet Jackson. Hollywood nights is a bit on the chilly side tonight on the West Coast. Janet Jackson is out, at least in Japan and she blames the economy in slowdown and the worldwide economic slump for the tour being canceled. It is at least hot somewhere as PETA is looking for a little publicity with a racy new ad they wanted to get on the Super Bowl. It's basically a bunch of gorgeous women in lingerie and perhaps a bikini or two having a very good time with vegetables. Is it obscene? NBC and the National Football League say they believe it is and the ad won't be aired during the broadcast of the NFL game. One more that is actually kind of humorous, Jessica Alba is giving history lessons, or geography lessons. i think.

Hollywood Nights: PETA Ad Banned (Video)

"PETA, you have truly outdone yourself this time. This could quite possibly be the greatest pro-vegetarian ad ever. Unfortunately, it will not be airing during the Superbowl (though we suspect they knew it wouldn’t pass ahead of time…) and was rejected by NBC because “depicts a level of sexuality exceeding our standards.” Sexy Video Here at Ecorazzi

***

"Janet Jackson has been forced to postpone her forthcoming tour of Japan due to the global economic crisis. She had planned to hit Japanese cities Nagoya, Osaka and Fukuoka as part of the Asian leg of her Rock Witchu tour.
Ace Showbiz

Jessica Alba has taken to her Celebrity MySpace blog to defend herself over accusations made by Bill O'Reilly and TMZ.com that she is dumb. When a reporter approached her at an inauguration event last week, she tried to turn the tables on him by asking him what Barack Obama's greatest characteristic was. When the reporter said he felt uncomfortable answering because he is a journalist, Alba replied, "be neutral - be Sweden about it." Us Weekly Magazin

EXCLUSIVE: DON’T CALL ME GAGA IN BED

SHE'S blonde, brash and has taken Britain by storm as pop’s hottest property.

ABOVE: Lady GaGa's eye popping style

ABOVE: Lady GaGa's raunchy style has taken Britain by storm

ABOVE: The star says a girl’s got to use what she’s given / wenn.com

ABOVE: The singer doesn’t want to be called GaGa in bed

ABOVE: Lady Gaga is known for her crazy sense of style

You can hardly open a paper without seeing Lady GaGa strutting out of clubs in barely-there basques and lingerie.

But, despite her outrageous style that’s had fellas’ jaws dropping all over the country, the babe insists she doesn’t see herself as a sex symbol.

“I’m not super-sexy,” she tells the Daily Star.

“A girl’s got to use what she’s given and I’m not going to make a guy drool the way a Britney video does.

“So I take it to extremes. I don’t say I dress sexily on stage – what I do is so extreme. It’s meant to make guys think: ‘I don’t know if this is sexy or just weird.’

“They start off thinking it’s freaky then realise it’s sexy because I’m having such a good time up there.”

Still, Lady GaGa reckons it’s time Brits got to know the real her. So who better to spill the beans to than Playlist?

After all, we were the ones who introduced the American singer in the UK before anyone else, with an exclusive interview in September.

The first thing anyone should know about GaGa is that she is her image.

She refuses to reveal her real name, though it’s been variously reported as Stefani or Joanne Germanotta.

“Even my mom calls me GaGa sometimes,” says the 22-year-old.

“She says she can see the trans­form­ation. I­’m cool with GaGa being yelled at me in the street.”

Her Ladyship insists she would not want her monicker used when she’s in bed with a guy, though.

“The only time I don’t want to be called GaGa is in the bedroom. Don’t be making that mistake with me, y’know!

“I spend so much time as GaGa now, with promos and concerts, that I’m not aware of the trans­formation any more.

GaGa is less vulnerable than the person I am away from the public.

“Nobody has figured out my real name yet. And I’m glad about that. I’ve been Lady GaGa for years and that’s what I want the public to see. So what does it matter what name I was born with?”

Growing up in New York in the 80s, GaGa was known for her love of pop and her crazy sense of style. The talented girl learned piano by ear at four and had written her first ballad by 13.

By the time she was 14, GaGa was playing open mic nights at Big Apple dive bars filled with drag queens.

She took her name from the Queen hit Radio GaGa, showing exactly where her musical influences lie.

And soon she was a firm fixture on the underground club circuit, thanks in no small part to her crazy performances.

They included stripping down to hotpants and a bikini top, setting cans of hairspray on fire and being lowered from the ceiling on a disco ball.

But it hasn’t all been plain sailing for the racy star. She admits to dabbling in drugs as a teenager, leaving her parents frantic with worry.

She says: “I had a scary experience with drugs one night when I thought I was going to die.

“I never told my father what I was doing but he looked at me and said: ‘You’re messed up, kid.’”

GaGa ditched the drugs and was signed to a record label by her 20th birthday.

She started writing songs for other artists including the Pussycat Dolls while working on her debut album The Fame – about “how anyone can feel famous”.

So what about that fashion style? Pals say she loves to “get everyone has horny as hell”.

And GaGa admits with a smile: “I am very into fashion – it’s everything to me. When I’m writing music I’m thinking about the clothes I want to wear on stage.

“The most I dress down in is a leotard – I was frustrated when your English paparazzi caught me dressed like that last week, it was as dowdy as I ever get.

“I’m not a T-shirt and jeans girl at all, not even at home on the couch.”

Her first single Just Dance – about “being totally wasted at a party” – is currently topping the UK charts while The Fame went into the album charts at No 3.

Last Sunday, she kicked off her support slot for the Pussycat Dolls, which will last until May.

And fans can be sure she’ll turn on a hot show.

One thing GaGa prides herself on is giving 100% on stage – hardened by years of taking abuse from tough New York audiences.

“You have to give every performance your best,” she says.

“I played every club in New York city and I bombed in every club and then killed it in every club.

“If you’re interested in making a life in art, you’d better be ready for the struggle – there’s a lot of it.”

By Kim Dawson and Nadine Linge

The bold and the buxom bust out for 2009 AEE and AVN Awards

Husband and wife Evan Seinfeld and Tera Patrick.

Photo: TVT

While 130,000 straight-laced conventioneers stalk the halls of the Consumer Electronics Show, another trade group simultaneously exhibits its latest high-flying products. At first glance, it might look just like any other convention that comes to town, but take a closer look: This one is all about sex and preening porn princesses! It’s the annual Adult Entertainment Expo, where X-rated DVDs play on the latest of technologies and Las Vegas really does become Sin City!

This former “plain manila envelope” affair has become a full-blown mainstream media event that kicked off last night and runs through fan day Sunday at the Sands Expo & Convention Center in The Venetian.

Look for our special video report from the convention floor as last-minute preparations for today’s opening were underway and our interview with Evil Angel head honcho John Stagliano, who has choreographed a new Fashionistas-type dance number for the 2009 Adult Video Network Awards show at Mandalay Bay on Saturday night.

Photo: TVT

The Adult Video Network Awards show at Mandalay Bay.

The days are all the same suit-and-tie business for the guys at any other convention -- well, except for a lot of skin showing from the bikini-clad models, but here it’s with X-rated video companies parading porn stars to sell more DVDs. The barely clad, lascivious lassies demonstrate adult toys and decadent devices, plus leather and lace manufacturers showcase outfits far too risque to wear outside the bedroom. But if it’s all business by day, then it’s definitely all pleasure by night, and the parties of porn with their erotic, edgy excesses move into top gear!

To use words such as “most respected” and “most recognized” when describing a trade-show business convention is acceptable when it comes to the Consumer Electronics Show winding up its 42nd anniversary here in Las Vegas this weekend. But the adult entertainment industry says the same about itself because it has grown into a staggeringly massive, annual $12 billion-plus business, and on Saturday, just like the Oscars and the Emmys, gold statuettes will be handed out in more than 100 sex categories to the industry’s top stars and producers! Yes, X-rated entertainment has gone completely mainstream, and flesh fans themselves will be able to sit in on the provocative power parade of pulchritude at the Grammys of the Adult World co-hosted by Jenna Haze and Belladonna.

Photo: TVT

Rocker Dave Navarro took part in the 2008 AVN Awards and is back again this year.

Tera Patrick, who was last year’s AVN show hostess, told me: “This is a really exciting time for me. Although I’m just 26 years old, I have been in the industry for nine years. This week is always the highlight of the year’s accomplishments.” Her company, Teravision, has just celebrated its most successful year to date, and Tera was crowned Businesswoman of the Year at Germany’s Venus Expo in Berlin. She appeared with rocker beau Evan Seinfeld on E!’s Rock Star Wives series and launched her Mistress Couture line. “I don’t ever plan on leaving adult, but maybe more behind the scenes from now on rather than in front of the camera.

“Don’t fret: I’ll still go topless when the fans want that, but it’s going to be a lot more mainstream in the future, ” she continued. “This is where I started, and everything comes back full circle." Evan commented: “I am so proud of her. We’ve been together for over six years, since 2002, and helping with her career was just a labor of love for me. I take no credit for anything because she’s done it all herself. Tera is like a freight train that nobody can stop. When she’s in the spotlight, I always say she shines a big light that everybody gets to bask in.”

Tera is making some major changes in her sex career this year and will give a sneak preview of her new burlesque show she’s bringing to Las Vegas during the AVN Awards on Saturday. There are more startling revelations from Tera in our exclusive interview right here at Vegas DeLuxe tomorrow morning.

AVN President Paul Fishbein commented: “This is the only show of its kind to recognize entertainment professionals in the adult industry. We are thrilled to open it up to the general public. Our fans are fiercely loyal, and as demand grew for tickets every year, we just had to find a larger venue with more seats right here at the Mandalay Bay Events Center. It all signals the evolution of the adult entertainment industry into mainstream.”

Photo: TVT

The Adult Video Network Awards show at Mandalay Bay.

Believe it or not, but the press corps covering the event numbers more than 1,000 from as far away as Europe and includes both the prestigious The New York Times and Los Angeles Times. All a far cry from the original awards back in the early 1980s, when only 20 people gathered for the very first show!

Sexy, shocking, scandalous and skimpy: It’s the premiere parade of pulchritude! I’ve stood with eyes wide open the last few years on the AVN red carpet watching the crazed scenes with more than 2,500 actress-models in all shapes and sizes (mainly 36 to 44DD) from all over the world. AVN execs told me then it was double the previous year’s turnout, so I can only guess it will be madness and mayhem again Saturday night. The fans are as outrageous as the skimpy near-zero clothes on the sex starlets and tantalizing torrid temptresses.

Call it the barrage of the bold, the brazen, the buxom, the bountiful and the bodacious! Some fans even mount cameras atop broom poles so they can shoot high over the fans packed six deep in front of them lined along the quarter-mile-long walkway of silicone-stacked leggy ladies. The video vixens totter by on towering stiletto heels and in see-through tops plunging down to their navels -- just about meeting the sky-high, thigh-high slit skirts or the Band-Aid-styled 4-inch mini-skirts with lacy lingerie and seamed stockings on full sensual show. To say you’ve never quite seen anything like it on Earth is still an understatement! Each year, the busty, bosomed blondes always play a more than one-upmanship game, so it’s easy to imagine this year’s feast of flesh!

Photo: J. Ludwig

Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz, inseparable in Las Vegas, have been to Social House and the Halo Bar in the Miracle Mile at Planet Hollywood.

Click HERE for our introductory coverage yesterday of the five-day festival of flesh with Jenna Haze, co-host of the AVN Awards show. And so you don’t miss one of the maidens’ maneuvers, check out our RACY, RANDY, RIBALD, ROYAL ROBIN RUNDOWN below. You get a slight idea how mainstream this has all become when you consider the fine line merged between rockers and porn stars. Fighter Tito Ortiz is engaged to Jenna Jameson, formerly the world’s most popular X-rated actress, and the couple are now expecting their first twins; rocker Evan Seinfeld is celebrating his sixth anniversary with adult actress Tera Patrick; and rocker Dave Navarro, who debuted his adult movie Broken distributed by Tera last year, hosts this year’s Porn Star Ball at Tao in The Venetian tomorrow night.

Photo: Evan Seinfeld

Husband and wife Evan Seinfeld and Tera Patrick.

Warning: All of these events are not for the faint of heart or the prude among us. This is the wild, wild wanton West as we go under the Supreme Sensual Sea of Sex and Silicone. But I promise you we’ll come up in time -- maybe gasping for air -- on Monday with the full up-close and X-tremely personal, 44 Double-Deluxe, decadent and dangerously delicious details! First, though, is our exclusive interview with porn princess Tera Patrick, so be sure to click back here for that tomorrow morning.

We’ve gone through the five-day festival of flesh, and now all in one place is the platinum parade of pulchritude, the listing of lust and lacy lingerie, the catalog of craven carnal cravings and the symphony of sultry sexual shenanigans that just once a year we refer to affectionately around here as the RACY, RANDY, RIBALD, ROYAL ROBIN RUNDOWN:

Thursday, Jan. 8

*Sex goddess Tera Patrick will meet fans, sign autographs and pose for photos from 5 to 7:30 p.m. at Lavo in the Palazzo. Then at 11 p.m., it’s the Hustler Lingerie Party at Lavo, and that means the hot Hustler honeys will be undressed up in their corsets, bustiers, naughty knickers and seamed stockings!

*Tera moves next door to Tao at 10 p.m. for her 4th Annual Diva Party, and she told me that in addition to a fashion show with scantily clad models displaying her new lingerie line, she’ll provide a sneak preview of her new burlesque show that’s coming to the Strip!

Photo: AVN

Jenna Haze and Belladonna are co-hostesses of the 2009 AVN Awards.

*Santodonato, the owner, publisher and chief photographer of Strip Las Vegas magazine, takes his naked models for a cocktail reception at the Erotic Heritage Museum. His new, one-of-a-kind, original photos on canvas are enhanced in oils to create a mixed-media masterpiece. Each piece is an original and therefore never duplicated!

*Wicked’s wanton women Jessica Drake, Kaylani Lei, Kirsten Price, Alektra Blue and Mikayla Mendez play host at LAX in the Luxor at the video company’s official AVN party.

Friday, Jan. 9

*“Everything You Wanted to Know About Porn (But Were Afraid To Ask)” is the intriguing highlight of the Fyre TV stage at the adult tradeshow in Sands. Jesse Jane, Joanna Angel, Eva Angelina, Penny Flame, Sasha Grey, Travis Knight, Gina Lynn, Bree Olson, Savanna Samson, Bobbi Starr and Randy Spears make up the porn panel to be moderated by Genesis Magazine Editor Dan Davis. Later the “Adult Filmmaking 101” course will feature award-winning directors John Stagliano and Michael Raven, talent agent Derek Hay and attorney Michael Fattorosi, with Stephen Harper of the Adult Business Academy as moderator.

*Rocker Dave Navarro hosts the inaugural Porn Star Ball, and his Mistress of Ceremonies will be porn queen Tera Patrick, who promises that she also will go into the DJ booth to show off her skills on the twisted turntables of steel!

*Porn’s beautiful and talented actress-director Stormy Daniels hosts her own “Operation Tropic Storm” at Lavo, with a full-blown 11 p.m. red carpet affair for arrivals from the adult world.

*Adult-film femme fatales Gina Lynn and Randi Wright host the Adult Entertainment Expo party at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone inside Planet Hollywood’s Miracle Mile. It will bring new meaning to the word lei. How could I resist?!

*Blonde-bombshell adult star Kayden Kross -- where did that name come from?! -- will strut her stuff on the main stage of Pure at Caesars Palace with a pre-awards party.

*It might be taboo when Vivid’s video vixens Hanna Hilton, Savanna Samson, Monique Alexander, Nikki Jayne, Meggan Malone and feature player Sunny Leone showcase their attributes at the Tabu Ultra Lounge in the MGM Grand.

*Howard Stern’s wild and wacky comic Bubba The Love Sponge hosts his pre-porn awards party at the topless Rick’s Cabaret club.

*Last year’s Best New Starlet award winner Bree Olson, who is nominated for the top award this year, will host her party at Rok Vegas in New York-New York. She might be dressed in literally next to nothing, but for all you gawkers, remember the club will enforce its dress code!

*There’s a photographic retrospective of adult actress Ginger Lynn and a performance of Antonio Restivo’s Arsenal of Fire at the Erotic Heritage Museum with hosts Vanessa Blue, Alyssa Hall, Moxxie Maddron, Sinnamon Love and of course Ginger herself.

*Transsexual icon Amanda Lapore -- a man, duh! -- who was famed photographer David LaChapelle’s muse and appeared as the face of Heatherette and MAC cosmetics, will perform hits from her remix album at Krave in Planet Hollywood’s Miracle Mile. A whole host of gay porn stars has promised to appear.

*Controversial Hustler publisher and adult moviemaker Larry Flynt throws his "In Like Flynt" party at Prive in Planet Hollywood, and all his hot Hustler honeys will be attending.

*One of the biggest adult movies of all time was Pirates, and now comes the sequel, Pirates 2. Digital Playground throws the DVD release party at Jet in The Mirage with all the swashbuckling stars of skullduggery at sea.

Saturday, Jan. 10

*All eyes will be bulging on the red carpet as the scantily clad models and actresses sashay, sizzle and strut their dangerous decadence to the 26th Adult Video Network Awards. There are 100-plus mind-numbing categories of best sex scenes -- solo, multiple and same sex! Who knew there were so many camera angles? I was speechless the year one young actress actually thanked her mom for being her biggest supporter and making it possible for her to “entertain” all the men in one award-winning orgy scene! And that’s putting it as gracefully and as gently as I could before noting she was so large and low-cut upfront that she actually toppled headfirst from the stage after her acceptance speech!

Photo: MGM Grand

Flo Rida, at home in the cabana and with the crowd, at Wet Republic.

Grammy-nominated artist and rap sensation Flo Rida will be performing at the ceremony attended by some 8,000-plus fans. Fashionista’s director John Stagliano is staging a new choreographed dance routine, and Tera Patrick will offer a sneak peek at her new Strip burlesque show.

*Awards co-hosts and alluring actresses Jenna Haze and Belladonna host the sizzling, sultry official AVN Awards after-party at LAX in the Luxor. Mega porn star and reality TV vixen Mary Carey will hold court in the Luxor at the Cathouse restaurant and ultra lounge. Along with her silver screen sexploits, Mary appeared in Celebrity Rehab and ran for governor of California!

*Temptress Tera Patrick hosts the AVN Awards after-party at Lavo, and she’ll be celebrating her entry into the adult video Hall of Fame. Next door in The Venetian, vivacious vixen Stormy Daniels will host the adult awards after-party at Tao.

*Wicked’s Jessica Drake, Kaylani Lei, Kirsten Price, Alektra Blue and Mikayla Mendez host their official AVN after-party at Pure in Caesars Palace.

*Nearly 20 adult-video companies are sending their sassy starlets to the giant Pornstarville party at MGM’s Studio 54. They include the Hustler honeys, Adam and Eve’s garden varieties, Bang Brothers Internet imps and titan talent agent Mark Spiegler’s sex sirens.

Photo: TVT

Ron Jeremy and two friends.

*King porn performer Ron Jeremy, who lost to Traci Bingham in my VH1 reality TV series Fame Games, filmed here in Las Vegas, is the guest celebrity host at the after-party atop the 64th floor of The Hotel at Mandalay Bay.

*Erotic fantasy starlets Nikki Benz and Puma Suede will host their "Naughty America" party at Prive in Planet Hollywood.

Sunday, Jan. 11

Industry fans can get up close and not-too-personal with their favorite XXX adult film stars from 9 a.m. to 5 pm at the Sands Expo & Convention Center in The Venetian.

— From Vegas Deluxe

By Robin Leach

Half-naked baristas offer some sexy with that coffee

How does one compete against a global coffee giant in these tough times?

How about with as little clothing possible? That's the idea behind the latest trend sweeping across America's leading coffee region.

Female baristas in Seattle-area coffee shops are shedding their clothes and donning lingerie and skimpy outfit in order to percolate business, reports The Seattle Times:

To stand apart from the hordes of drive-through espresso stands that clutter the Northwest's roadsides, commuter coffee stops such as Tukwila's Cowgirls Espresso are adding bodacious baristas, flirty service and ever more-revealing outfits to the menu.

At Port Orchard's Natté Latté, baristas sport hot-pink hot pants and tight white tank tops. Day-of-the-week theme outfits ranging from racy lingerie to "fetish" ensembles are the dress code at Moka Girls Espresso in Auburn and at several Cowgirls Espresso stands in the area. Bikini tops are the special at Café Lorraine on Highway 9 in Woodinville, and the women of The Sweet Spot in Shoreline pose provocatively in Playmate-style profiles on the stand's Web site.

More here.

Wait, you say: surely this is a rare thing, indeed. A regional anomaly. No, it's not. Even Maine has caught the sexy barista craze, with a proposed topless coffee shop in the planning stages. Do hot coffee and no clothes mix? It remains to be seen.

And while it might be tough to imagine a half-naked drive-through working in our freezing winters, it poses the question: how far will business go become recession proof?

What are you thoughts? Would you frequent a topless coffee shop or would you spend your coffee money on a clothes-mandatory establishments?

by Brad Frenette Coffee, nudity

The Hottest Ads of 2008, Revisited

Once again, it's time to look back and review 2008, Adrants-style: with the hottest, sexiest and raciest ads of 2008. If you've fallen behind the times, check out our 2007 round-up. Otherwise, sit back and enjoy.

Sometimes an ad comes right out and says what everyone's thinking, a method that can be nearly as refreshing as, oh ... an alcoholic energy drink. At least that's the case with this billboard in Denmark for Cult Shaker. Mincing no words, it asked passersby to fornicate with the naked girl featured at left. Are we off to a good start yet?

Combining the well-documented fact that eyes tend to wander down paths made by pulchritudinous cleavage, and the notion a fast camera is paramount to lending permanence to the moment, Olympus presents us with an ad that perfectly captures this deft eyeball dance.

And what would a cattle call of the year's hottest ads be without the famed Why every guy should buy their girlfriend a Wii Fit video starring Lauren, the gorgeous girlfriend of Tinsley Advertising Director-Marketing Giovanny Gutierrez, who made the video as a spec viral?

With 7,634,988 views, the hypothesis is proved once again: amateurishly shot + hot chick + controversy = viral hit.

Pushing the limits to our perception that a woman isn't nude if her nipples are covered, Mia Lingerie launched a campaign featuring nippleless models. No, not models covering their nipples; models with their nipples digitally removed.

The ad was for Mia's line of seamless lingerie, so removing the speedbumps seemed like a fitting creative strategy. The full image is here.

And what would this list be without British hottie Keeley Hazell? She lent her alarming good looks and stunning figure to Lynx, which had the model pose with chocolate statues in front of London's Tower Bridge.

Chocolate's connection to body spray is unclear, but that's of no consequence. This is a pictorial review of sexy ads, not an analysis of their effectiveness. (Really, though: in ad land, when does effectiveness ever come into play?!)

Speaking of relevance, get a load of what comes next.

Hot guys, hot girls, bikinis and ripped abs. Music and dancing. Slow-motion camera pans. Topping off the debauchery, a vanilla ice cream cone drips down a woman's body as it's slowly given tongue -- followed by ... a global warming message.

Say what? Well, it certainly beats those dire, apocalyptic greenwashing ads.

Every guy wants a handcrafted wooden gift for Valentine's Day. And while this Anne Summers commercial serves that up, it also wink-winks you into another kind of wood -- with its endless collection of cover-nothing lingerie.

Hand crafted wood. What's not to love?

Next up, VH1 Charm School participant Saaphyri was gratuitously front and center in a video promoting her line of lip gloss, imaginatively called LipChap.

Saaphyri slithers and coos as the camera eye ensures every inch of her is admired with the intensity of a 14-year-old boy staring at (or is it through?) his unwitting date's tulle prom dress.

Of the debut video on American Apparel's YouTube channel, we wrote, "Now, aside from all those racy images over which everyone obsesses, we can all now obsess over booty in motion thanks to impossibly hot American Apparel model Kristen who tantalizingly wags her ass in our face while wearing polka dot panties. WTF? Is this supposed to sell clothes or become the next masturbatory fixation for teenage boys?" Enough said.

Representing the sexy AND the weird was this faux Paris Hilton-esque sex tape spoof for UK MTV One's Fur TV. Who saw that happy ending coming?

There's no shortage of alcohol marketers that employ tactical titillation to sell a liter or two, but few do it with the elegance and seductiveness Cabana Cachaca achieved in this print campaign.

Just a bottle and a babe. That's all this Brazilian (natch) brand needed to make its point.

Ladies, when a bartender peers into your eyes while thrusting a large, stiff brush deep inside a glass, do you A) reach for the doggy bag, or B) order a Flirt Vodka? In this case, Flirt hopes you aim for the latter.

Watching this SlinkyFox video will toy with your emotions. First you'll be wowed by Landie, a girl-next-door hottie who looks like she's getting ready to shoot a porn video. Then you'll be skeeved by the sliminess of the director, who intones cheesy, increasingly creepy questions at Landie.

Oddly, you might even marvel at Landie's acting abilities as she reacts to the director's pointed questions. But you will most definitely experience surprise when you find out what the whole thing is for.

Some marketers love to test the limits of what's acceptable and tactics vary widely from country to country. But it's a safe bet to assume actual porn is something we're not likely to see very often in advertising. In any country.

Unless the marketer is Diesel.

Though to be fair, Diesel held back juuuuuust enough with SFW XXX Dirty 30, a video celebrating its 30th anniversary, in which the naughtier bits of actual porn footage were cartoonishly censored.

When Levi's unleashed its beast in the form of Unbutton Your Beast, reactions were mixed. Some thought it represented a has-been brand grasping for a lifeline. Others felt it played perfectly to the target audience's sense of humor. Either way, creepiness ensued once the Levi's were unbuttoned.

Moving on, this (sexist?) recruitment ad from BBDO Shanghai promoted the Li Yue Men Young Creatives Competition by informing us the women who work in the agency are all D-cups.

Marking its second entry in our hallowed list, American Apparel debuted a set of online banners featuring women with fully exposed breasts (non-nude link) and nothing but a hand covering their nether regions. Perhaps because American Apparel has pushed this envelope to its limit, reaction to the campaign was fairly muted.

On its blog, American Apparel wrote, "We know people like to talk about our ads. More often, it's tongues clucking and fingers wagging in disapproval but this time, we seem to have some blogs taking to our defense about our first nude ads for the web." Whatev.

Wrapping up the Hottest Ads of 2008 is one we haven't covered. Unleashed in December, the infamous Danish Skydiver ad (NSFW) for Fleggaard depicts hundreds of naked ladies plummeting from a plane to spell out "Siemens Vaskemaskine. Kun 4,999" -- promoting a Siemens washing machine. It's so over the top. So self-absorbed. So goofy. So "you'd-never-see-this-in-America." A fitting conclusion to '08.

This wraps up the sexiest/hottest/raciest ads of 2008. Having shared that, it'd be unfair to not to yield an honest take on the matter. In an interview with Violet Blue for her San Francisco Chronicle sex column, I said, "Initially sexual imagery can 'sell' - when it comes to attracting attention to an ad. After all, humans are innately programmed to respond to titillating imagery and the possibility of sex. It's just in our DNA. So it's natural for marketers to use this attraction and for people to respond.

"But it can be a lame cop-out used by marketers who lack imagination to create more compelling work that will sustain itself beyond the initial titillation. Despite studies minimizing its benefits, sex will continue to be used in advertising because it's a quick and easy solution which doesn't require much thought and can garner the immediate attention some marketers need for their promotional efforts. "

Which is, let's face it, a very good thing. Otherwise, there'd be no no content for the Hottest Ads of 2009.