Three couples, six different styles of lingerie. (P-D)
PD FASHION EDITOR
When it comes to lingerie, men tend to be more enthusiastic in their appreciation than women. But women do not deny the inherent appeal.
After an informal survey of both genders, the results are fairly straightforward. Men and women like lingerie because it's sexy.
Men wanted to see it more often and women joked that they "should" wear it more. One problem it seems is that lingerie has got such a mystique that most women consider it special occasion apparel.
So it's no surprise that one perception remained very consistent among couples. Women almost universally expected their husband, boyfriend or significant other to pick out lingerie that was racier, raunchier and more revealing than what they would choose.
We decided to test out the theory with three local couples at various stages of their relationship. We have a married couple with adult children, a young couple planning a wedding in April and a newly formed duo that's been dating for two months.
We selected three websites selling a variety of lingerie from innocent and casual to hot and sexy. The men and women were told to go to the websites separately. He was told to pick out something he thought the woman would look sexy wearing. She was told to pick something that she would feel sexy wearing.
In general, the guys picked items that showed more skin, but none of them picked elaborate looks with hooks and garters, corsets and ruffles. The women tended to prefer things with more girlish elements of lace or embroidery. And our ladies all went for classic black. It was the guys who chose color and prints.
Seven simple rules
1 Know her size. Check out the size numbers in the garments that she wears most often. Women tend to hang on to various sizes over the years, so don't pick out the size in something you haven't seen her wearing in a while. Take note of panty and bra sizes, and a skilled salesperson can help you figure out the size for most anything else that catches your eye.
2 If she doesn't own any lingerie, don't expect her to go all out with something wild and racy. Lingerie can make a person feel quite self-conscious, so take that into account.
3 Don't be cheap. You'll be surprised at how much some ladies underwear can cost. If you don't have the budget, don't skimp. If you've only got $20, you might want to stick with a sexy pair of panties.
4 Don't be limited to the exotic. A great silk slip or bra set can be worn under clothing all day or for a nice night out for dinner. That'll give you something to fantasize about for a while instead of something she only wears from the bathroom to the bed.
5 Wrap it up. Most women (at least those who aren't the uber-practical type) love unwrapping petite boxes with ribbon.
6 Don't be offended if she only wears it once, or only on special occasions. Ask her about it once in a while. Does she like it? What does she prefer? Would she wear it more if you didn't rip it off so quickly?
7 Don't let this advice inhibit you. If you really think something is pretty and sexy, give it a shot. And while you're at it, think of wearing something special for the occasion yourself. It might break the ice.
Married
Jim Moore, 59, and Marianne, 45, Belleville. Married seven years and together for 10 years, (they have a Brady Bunch clan of five adult children)
Marianne said that she wears lingerie almost every day, whether it's a pretty bra or a lacy camisole that she wears to bed with pajama bottoms. She like pretty things. And to that end, she selected a lacy bra and panty set from Badgley Mischka. The Lana bra ($85) and tap pants ($42) in black with an ivory accent "leaves something to the imagination," she said. And "it looks comfortable, which for me is key to feeling sexy. I don't want to have to worry about things riding up or not fitting properly."
She suspected that her husband had selected something racy and elaborate with garters and corsets and snaps, but he quickly exclaimed, "Oh, no, that stuff is dangerous."
His choice was a D and G Intimates Leopard Print Bra, (now on sale for $34.90), and matching panties (now on sale for $21.90). He said that the choice seemed, "sexy and wild looking."
Engaged
Damon Johnson, 27, and Adhar Usher, 26, St. Louis. They are planning their wedding in April.
She preferred a black Intimissimi satin and with lace teddy ($48). It's a classic cute but sexy look that has a bit of innocence and a hint of nostalgia.
He preferred a two-piece midriff baring bra ($48) and side-tie bikini ($18) set in pink satin with bows. It's a more contemporary look that is subtly opposite. It's sexy but cute.
Damon said that it "reflected Adhar's personality (and of course, my own personal preference in lingerie). It's sexy without being too dramatic, fun but seductive." He said that he's not a fan of garters and bustiers, because "complicated lingerie can be intimidating and even distracting. Keep it simple."
Both of them admitted the they didn't think the other would have selected the same thing they chose. But on a funny note, each of them seemed to think that they had chosen a racier garment than the other.
Dating
Anthony Robinson, 41, Central West End, and Kyla Grunwald, 23, Maplewood. They have been dating for two months.
Kyla chose a sheer babydoll nightie with floral embroidery, bow accents and a plunging neckline called the Aubade's Caprice Combinette in black ($189), which she would pair with the matching bottoms, a string thong ($49). Then she noted that she'd wear it with stockings.
Anthony selected the Boudoir's Leavers Lace with Silk Contour Underwire Bra ($130) and matching silk thong ($55) in deep blue lace over pink silk. He said that he chose the lingerie because of the design, material and color.
"I thought that all of those qualities would enhance Kyla's figure and skin tone," Anthony said. "I think her choice was nice, but I was looking for something other than black or red as that seems to be the standard."
She said that she liked her choice because it just looked sexy and provocative, but not totally revealing.
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